Grief is the reaction we feel to the loss, death, of a loved one. This loss refers to a death but it can also refer to the loss of physical and/or cognitive abilities or the loss of something that was routine in our lives, such as a job.
Although grief is expressed emotionally, it is also experienced and demonstrated on the physical, behavioral, social, and cognitive (mental) levels.
Here are the various types of grief that humans experience.
Anticipatory grief
For family and caregivers, grieving starts long before the person actually dies. Anticipatory grief starts when someone receives a diagnosis and their health begins to decline. Emotions of what was or what family and that person’s life is going to be like begins to surface. It is sometimes difficult to speak with others about anticipatory grief because the person you care for is still alive and you may have feelings of guilt or confusion as to why you are feeling this early onset of grief.
Normal grief
Defining normal grief is difficult in terms of timelines or emotional severity. Normal grief can be described as the ability to move towards acceptance of a loss. Accepting the reality of a death takes time, but it brings a gradual decrease in the intensity of grief emotions. Those who experience normal grief are able to continue to function with their basic activities of daily living at a much earlier timeline.
Delayed grief
Delayed grief occurs when reactions and emotions in response to a death are postponed or put on hold, until a later time. The psyche knows when we are unable to cope with intense emotions and assists in putting the pain aside until we’re able to deal with it. This type of grief may be initiated by another major life event or even something that seems unrelated. Reactions can be excessive to the current situation and the person may not initially realize that delayed grief is the real reason for becoming so emotional.
Complicated grief (traumatic or prolonged)
Complicated grief refers to a normal grief that becomes severe in longevity and significantly impairs the ability to function. It can be difficult to judge when grief has lasted too long. Other contributing factors in diagnosing complicated or prolonged grief include looking at the nature of the loss or death (was it sudden? violent? multiple?), the relationship, personality, life experiences, and other social issues. Some warning signs that is experienced during complicated grief include self-destructive behaviour, deep and persistent feelings of guilt, low self-esteem, suicidal thoughts, violent outbursts, or radical lifestyle changes.
Disenfranchised grief (ambiguous)
Disenfranchised grief is felt when someone experiences a loss but others do not acknowledge the importance of the loss in the person’s life. Society does not generally make it easy for people to display grief or show the importance of the loss which often minimizes the significance of the loss. Disenfranchised grief can occur when someone experiences the loss of an ex-spouse, a pet, or a co-worker. The other side of disenfranchised grief is experiencing the loss of a person you are caring for who might have dementia or a decline in their physical abilities. The person is physically present but they are also absent in other significant ways.
Chronic grief
This type of grief can be experienced through feelings of: hopelessness, a sense of disbelief that the loss is real, avoidance of any situation that may remind someone of the loss, or loss of meaning and value in a belief system. People with chronic grief can experience intrusive thoughts. When left untreated, chronic grief can develop into severe clinical depression, suicidal or self-harming thoughts, and even unhealthy coping such as substance abuse.
Cumulative grief
This type of grief can occur when multiple losses are experienced within a short period of time. Cumulative grief can be stressful because the person didn’t have time to properly grieve one loss before experiencing another.
Masked grief
Masked grief comes in the form of physical symptoms or other negative behaviours that are out of character. Someone experiencing masked grief shows an inability to recognize that these symptoms or behaviours are connected to a loss.
Traumatic grief
Traumatic losses such as the death of a loved one to gun violence, car accident, or by suicide are far outside of what we normally expect in life. Trauma associated with gun violence has far-reaching ripple effects. For every death by gun violence, at least one hundred and thirty (130) people are affected.
Many survivors experience symptoms of post-traumatic stress. Many counselors would say “these are normal responses to abnormal events.” Recovery from these symptoms is a gradual process. Most survivors find that as time goes on, reactions become fewer and less intense.
Some common reactions to traumatic loss include:
- Having flashbacks and disturbing memories
- Feeling hopeless about the future
- Nightmares – distressing recollections of the death
- A feeling of reliving the experience
- Feeling numb
- Distressing dreams about the event
- Feeling emotionally detached from other people
- Hypervigilance – always feeling “on guard”
- Inability to concentrate – difficulty working
- Withdrawal from social activities/situations
- Insomnia – difficulty falling or staying asleep
- Irritability or angry outbursts
- Difficulty concentrating
- Short-term memory loss
Distorted grief
Unfortunately, distorted grief can present with extreme feelings of guilt or anger, noticeable changes in behaviour, hostility towards a particular person, plus unhealthy coping actions and other self-destructive behaviours.
Exaggerated grief
Exaggerated grief is felt when normal grief responses are intensified. This increased emotions worsen over time. This may result in self-destructive behaviour, such as suicidal thoughts, drug and/or alcohol abuse, abnormal fears, nightmares, and even the beginning of psychological disorders.
Inhibited grief
This type of grief is seen when someone doesn’t show outward signs of grief. This is usually a conscious effort to keep grief private. Problems can arise from inhibited grief through other physical signs when someone doesn’t allow themselves to acknowledge the grief and participate in the grieving process.
Secondary losses in grief
Secondary loss is a loss after the death of a loved one. The death of a loved one being the primary, initial, or first loss. A secondary loos such as the loss of a job, a spouse or home, after the primary loos of a loved one, affects multiple areas of an individual’s life. The grief from secondary loss is the emotional response to the succeeding loss/es that occur as a result of a death (the primary loss).
Collective grief
Collective grief is felt by a group. This could be experienced by a community, city, or country as a result of a natural disaster, death of a public figure, attack on multiple people, or a terrorist attack.
Abbreviated grief
Abbreviated grief is a short-lived response to a loss. This could occur due to someone or something immediately filling the void, the distance that was felt, or the experience of anticipatory grief.
Absent grief
Absent grief is when someone does not acknowledge the loss and shows no signs of grief. This can be the result of complete shock or denial of the death. Although this is not an uncommon reaction, it can be a concern if someone experiences absent grief for an extended period of time. There have been recorded cases where natural response to a loss happened after one to three years.
It’s also important to note that in some instances, just because you can’t see the signs of grief, it doesn’t necessarily mean that someone is not grieving. Grief a uniquely individualized experience and everyone displays and experiences grief in significantly unique ways.
Subtle Grief
This type of loss is often overlooked but is not associated with a death. Subtle losses can be termed secondary losses, but is mostly related to losses such as:
- migration from one country to another
- moving away from home to attend university
- loss of a friendship; loss of a spouse
- separation or divorce
- or even the loss of an important piece of jewelry that has sentimental values
Although it is often not recognized, and general overlooked, subtle loss can significantly impede our natural daily functioning and even develop into depression and/or other physical symptoms.