Tenth anniversary of son’s shooting in Blake Street apartment building this month
It’s been 10 years since her son was murdered, and the grief hasn’t lessened. However, Riverdale resident Joan Howard is trying to focus on helping other mothers who have lost children to violence.
Howard’s 24-year-old son Kempton, a respected youth worker, was gunned down in their apartment building at 80 Blake St. near Jones and Danforth avenues on Dec. 13, 2003.
It was a Saturday afternoon.
“I went and picked up my groceries and was preparing things for Sunday lunch,” Howard said. “Kempton was in the house for the whole morning until he decided to jump on the bike and told his brother he was going to get a hair cut.”
Kempton would never return.
Howard said she and her younger son heard a bang but didn’t think much of it at the time. “Maybe somebody was moving and something fell. That’s how it sounded to me.”
Howard also placed an order for a six-pack of beer at about the same time.
And it was the delivery man who first alerted Howard to trouble.
“The guy called me and said, ‘I can’t come in your building. Something is happening in your building,’” said Howard. “And a little while after I heard a walkie-talkie.”
Howard wanted to take a peek into the hallway.
“I pretended I was going to put garbage out…and the police ordered me back inside,” she said, noting she briefly saw a bicycle and yellow police tape in the hallway.
Howard didn’t know whether the bike belonged to her son.
“Kempton always used to be fixing bikes for the little kids in the area,” she said. “Today he might have a blue bike, tomorrow he might have a red bike.”
Howard kept her ear to the door and heard her son’s name being mentioned.
Moments later there was a knock at her door.
“I just lost it,” she said. “The detective came in and said, ‘Your son got shot.’”
Howard asked the detective which hospital Kempton was being taken to, not knowing the coroner had already arrived.
Kempton was shot in the head; he died at the scene.
“He’s such a good kid, he’s a youth worker, he helps the kids,” Howard said.
Kempton worked at Eastview Boys and Girls Club and was described as a popular basketball coach and an inspiring role model for area youth.
He had planned to take a group of youth to a Raptors game on Sunday. Instead, the group had a session with grief counsellors.
A park was renamed in Kempton’s honour on Mother’s Day in 2007. A scholarship was also set up in his memory.
Howard said she believes the murder stemmed from an altercation the previous day in which Kempton told two males smoking pot in a parking lot to take it somewhere else.
Two men are currently serving time for the murder.
“One got second-degree (murder) and the other one got (convicted of) manslaughter,” Howard said.
The past decade has been rough, said Howard, adding she contemplated suicide three times.
On one occasion, Howard said she popped pills.
“In the early part of Kempton’s death, I used to try to get home before it got dark outside. I didn’t go around crowds because everything just brought a fear in me,” she said. “Sometimes I’ll be travelling on the subway and the tears just dripped from my eyes.”
Later in her journey, Howard went through a grief bereavement program and became a facilitator to help other mothers who lost children deal with the pain.
“In Kempton’s death, I got a 1-800 number to call,” she said, adding it was difficult to relate to the stranger on the other end. “The only person who could tell me how I feel is somebody who had that loss already. Somebody who doesn’t have a loss, doesn’t know my feelings.”
Howard is calling for a government-funded program for parents of murdered children. She and grief therapist Rev. Sky Starr will be taking their fight to Parliament Hill on Dec. 10.
“What I’m seeking is for the government to put something in place for us mothers, so when we lose our kids we have somewhere to go,” Howard said.
“The next thing I’m asking for is for them to curb the guns that come in over the border.”
Howard regularly attends the funerals of young murder victims to support their grieving mothers.
The holiday season is one of the most difficult times for those who have lost a loved one.
For Howard, it’s especially difficult: Kempton’s birthday is Dec. 6, he was murdered Dec. 13, his funeral was Dec. 22.
“My life will never be the same again,” Howard said. “I can’t get back what I had. Now I just have to pick up the pieces and move on.”
This Saturday, Howard will take part in an interfaith memorial for victims of gun violence.
The fourth annual event, sponsored by Starr’s North York-based organization Out of Bounds, includes a dinner and a remembrance ceremony featuring personal stories and songs.
Starr knows about grieving. She lost five children to medical problems.
“We’re really wanting the government to realize that grief and losses don’t just go away and there really is nothing in place for victims of gun violence,” Starr said. “Mothers are suffering in silence with no help.”
Saturday’s event is open to the public and is free of charge. It begins at 6:30 p.m. at Monsignor Fraser College, 45 Norfinch Dr.
